it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No subtext here. People are naked.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
