you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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