I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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