Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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