I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
