You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
