I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
