he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
