Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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