so explain again why im purple
no
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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