And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
