i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
