that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
