and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
