Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I feel like abortions should bother me more
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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