I can text with my tongue
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
