did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
