i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
