first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
