I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
