This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
