We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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