Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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