Sponge bath it is.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
