Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
