AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
