just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
