is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
