dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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