I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How external is "for external use only"?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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