you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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