We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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