I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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