U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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