I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I need a burrito and a hug.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
