shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
