I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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