we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
