Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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