She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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