Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
