maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
