she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
