I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
