u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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