If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
two words: eviction party
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
