We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
