Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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