so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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