In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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