ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
